Enough for me

“Today, I release the urgency of outer events. I listen to the inner rhythm of God. I set my pace by divine guidance. The world and its busy agendas do not control my soul. My soul rests in God: good, orderly, direction.” —Julia Cameron

Resisted temptation to be a tourist today. It’s been a whirlwind 2 weeks leading up to my arrival here in Mexico. And a challenging month before that embracing my truth that I was in a job that no longer served me, and that I was completely unhappy. So I did something about it!

Dislodging yourself from comfort, and taking a risk is never easy. And I can’t lie and say I did it gracefully at all, even if it appeared so from the outside. I had my bold face on but inside I was freaking out.  Leaving a stable job and good money without another job lined up isn’t logical, and hardly anyone (except my mother, ha!) will encourage you to do it.  But wow…does it gives your soul a boost.

We are enamored by this idea of fearlessness which, to be blunt, I reject entirely. I fear everything. And I also have an extremely low tolerance for pain of any kind – emotional or physical. But I embrace my fears, and pray for grace and strength to move through them. Because it isn’t I who move, it is I who allows myself to BE MOVED.

And things moved FAST. One Friday I was at work…two Fridays later, I was on a plane to Mexico. Now here I am…and after a sleep deprived two days of travel from LA to Mexico City to Oaxaca…I arrived here to Oaxaca starved and exhausted. If there’s such a thing as a “fear hangover”….that would describe my current emotional state…

Needless to say, today felt like my first day of real rest in about two months. And while a whole new city to explore waits outside my door, I decided I can see all that tomorrow…or not. I’m not here to be a tourist. I’m here to learn how to walk on water…

So my inner monk and contemplative diva was in her element today in my simple but cozy B&B. Listening to the laughter and activity downstairs from the kitchen, enjoying fresh and delicious meals, chatting in my broken Spanish with the lovely staff here who are full of hospitality and joy.

That is enough for me.