“I have a ferocious lucidity…I am aware that my gift is my curse-for I see into others lives abnormally with such keen insight, it sometimes gives me an inhuman role to play-the wise man’s role, so hateful, so difficult. At times some depend on my guidance, but at other times they hate it and rebel against it…And yet at other times, they ignore it, and then, because my feelings are involved, I suffer more from their blindness than they do…I utter truths which hurt…because I am accurate. I hate my own lucidity-I suffer as a god must suffer when he looks down and commits a murder committed in a moment of blindness. Sometimes I feel so desperate I cry out that I will kill myself and put and end to this seeing. Oh, the torture of eyes forever open! Close my eyes, oh god, that I may rest from suffering. I can no longer bear my awareness. How clearly I see!”
-Anais Nin, Mirages
